BATTLE RHYMES
BATTLE RHYMES ARE BASICALLY JUST TRASH TALK IN WRITTEN FORM. I BEGAN WRITING THEM WHILE PASSING NOTES DURING AN ART HISTORY CLASS IN COLLEGE. IT WAS MUCH MORE EXCITING THAN THE TOPIC AT HAND.
LEAVE A REPLY BELOW AND MAYBE WE CAN GO “TOE TO TOE”.
Here, so let me show you how this works,
I’ll be Jay, you be Silent Bob from the Clerks.
It’s better if you stay hushed, otherwise your ego might get flushed,
Embarrassment might get rushed, and your spirits will be crushed.
This world’s already got enough clowns like you in it,
Immobile on a stationary bike, you know you cannot spin it.
I thought I’d be nice, and write you a couple verses,
I’ll pick your mind, like a thief snatching purses.
Cuz I’m too fast for Paul, and I’m too furious for Diesel.
I’ll take you down a notch, like the legs on an easel.
My mannerisms are vicious, and my flow kicks like a mule,
Number one objective: You. I aim to ridicule.
You’ve got another thing comin’, if you think that you can face me,
I hit the ground runnin’, I dare you to embrace me.
I dare you to disgrace me,
Try hard to displace me,
Here’s a Pink Pearl, sit down and try to erase me.
Whatever, the case be,
Wherever, the race be,
It’s follow the leader, you will forever chase me.
Cuz I Run the Road, while you Coyote the Wile E.,
Constantly hidden, like Hannah was to Miley,
You’re diggin’ your own grave, and I know that this is cruel,
But here’s a shovel, can you dig it fool?
I quote ‘90’s rap, cuz that’s the era I was raised,
All this shock value’s, got you feelin’ like you were tased.
I know you’ve seen a better day, and your hair is kinda grey,
Surgeon General warns, that you should’ve stayed away.
Cuz my talents flourish while yours just decay,
They call you Ivan Drago, while they call me Coach Bombay.
My veins so saturated with talent I’m afraid that my blood my clot,
And I spit so vicious I’m afraid that my teeth might rot.
I hit harder than the Bash Brothers,
Collect coins like Super Smash Brothers,
Constantly clown and trash others,
Like potatoes, I will mash others.
I attack you in your mind, just like Freddy Krueger,
Give you a little hope, then reel you back in like a Pflueger.
I reign supreme, while you remain in between,
I’m double stuffed, while you’ve misplaced your cream.
I’m full-flavor Dew, while you tend to be diet,
The most intelligent things you say, you say when you are quiet.
You’re a Tart that’s missing it’s Pop, and like a Tyler Perry movie, you tend to flop,
Iron Chef, you get the chop, I’m Swiffer, you’re a broken mop.
I reign supreme,
Do you not see the theme?
Confused? Here, let me explain it:
Game over. Picture painted.