CHEAT DAY DOUGHNUT

If you’ve ever dieted strictly or (let’s be honest) somewhat-to-moderately strictly, you know the importance of that one day a week you get to lift the high-calorie restraining order and indulge; the almighty Cheat Day. The one day a week you get to eat whatever you want, within reason, and tame the beast that goes by the name of sanity. Chicken breast and brown rice x 6 days a week leaves your mouth watering for something with flavor that even hot sauce can’t resuscitate. You’ve been faithful for six days but now it’s time to commit mass calorie murder.

While drafting up attributes for my homemade Cheat Day doughnut, I wanted to jam-pack as many of my “Sweet Tooth” guilty pleasures into one medium as possible. That way, instead of dedicating an entire day to making bad dietary decisions, I could hit them all in one sitting.

One doughnut to rule them all.

What I came away with was a Butterscotch Pudding-filled doughnut smothered in Vanilla frosting and heavily garnished with a Brown Sugar & Cinnamon Pop-Tart crumble. When I held the first one in my hand, I could hear every Ketogenic dieter in the Midwest double over in pain. Alongside the doughnut, I made a Mountain Dew-infused cream cheese dipping sauce that really Gorilla Glued the whole thing together.

From start to finish, this thing was delicious. The first bite erupted an avalanche of Butterscotch pudding. After that I became ravenous. Like a wild animal warding off scavengers, I backed into a corner and devoured the remainder of the doughnut. The Pop-Tart crumbles were a great addition. Bringing a nice crunch to an over-all “gooey” doughnut satisfied my pallet on all levels. This doughnut knocked it out of the park for me. After I had stopped shaking, I tried to eat another but sirens sounded from inside my body, telling me we could not sustain any more sugar.

I felt satisfied. I had successfully grabbed my cravings by the back of the neck and rag-dolled them into submission. I can honestly say I ate no more junk food that day. So I guess you could classify this as a success story. A tale of triumph. An example of working together for the greater good.

Teamwork.